Facebook

Children being stalked by parents on Facebook

By Uroos Ahmed

KARACHI: Sadia was disgusted to find her mother popping up on Facebook one day.

“I was horrified when I realized my mother is on Facebook. She just popped up on my cousin’s ‘friends list’ one day and here I was thinking she didn’t even know how to send an e-mail,” said the dismayed surfer.

But that wasn’t the end of it; Sadia’s mother made it her business to check her wall whenever she logged on. “We don’t feel comfortable including our parents in what we do online no matter how close and friendly our relationship is. It’s like a code; you don’t interfere with someone’s online activities,” Sadia told Daily Times.

For young people, Facebook, Myspace and Orkut were the only space where they could interact minus parental control. Initially designed for the benefit of university students to remain in touch with their classmates during the academic year, Facebook has branched out into thousands of social networks from high schools to cities, linking almost anybody and everybody. But now, the latest group to jump on the Facebook bandwagon is the parents, who are receiving a less than welcome reception from the young ones.

Second-year BBA student Umaina who always did well in class, was grounded during her exams because her mother came across certain posts on her ‘wall’ that indicated Umaina had been socializing when she was supposed to be studying for her finals.

“I always study in a group with my friends, and of course when we got together every day and we didn’t always study and not talk. We do a lot of crazy stuff when we are taking a break from work,” she said.

However, despite Umnia’s heartfelt explanations, her mother stuck to her decision. “It was unbelievable! I am a BBA student and I was told to sit home till my exams and what’s more embarrassing is that my mother talked to my friend’s mother and my friend ended up getting grounded as well.”

A Level student Mohsin Anis was “stalked” by his mother on Facebook for weeks. “She told me I shouldn’t be on it because I was acquiring bad habits,” he told Daily Times. “I’d like to ask her whether invading other people privacy is a bad habit, because she is guilty of doing that. Two more weeks of constant arguments with [my mother] and she finally admitted to thinking that I and my friends were addicted gamblers because we had added the Texas Hold’em Poker application and we played poker on Facebook.”

Tania has taken a softer approach. “We don’t mind that our parents are on Facebook as long as they don’t expect to become our buddies. We live in the same house for God’s sake!” she cried. Now her parents expect her to allow them in on her Facebook fun and actually got upset with her when she didn’t “Superpoke” them enough.

“I cannot block my mother or put her on my limited profile because she will know something is missing,” said Maryum, who got into a lot of trouble because her mother saw tagged pictures of her on the beach when she was clearly told not to go. “I have to be very careful of what people are writing on my ‘wall’. I also have to worry about what is being said on my friends’ ‘walls’ because my mother has added them as a friend too.”

Some people don’t mind their parents getting a Facebook account, as long as they don’t abuse the application and stalk them. Not adding them as a friend would be a better idea. “They should go get friends of their own,” said Sadia Jatoi. “Facebook is a means of communicating with people you don’t see every day. I don’t leave daily posts and emails for my friends nor do I expect them to, and that is why I don’t really see the point of adding my parents or even siblings to my list.”