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Courts full of grandparents fighting for custody

By Uroos Ahmed

KARACHI: At the city courts Daily Times found Thursday that most of the elderly people awaiting trial were fighting for the custody of their grandchildren in addition to a large number of people pursuing property cases.

“I have been coming to the courts for the past three years,” said Shahida, who said she was in her early 70s, “and before that, my deceased daughter was fighting for the custody of her son, who is now nine years old.” Her daughter Noveen, who passed away from cancer three years ago, had come back from England when her child was seven months old. Noveen had moved to London after her wedding, but her marriage was on the rocks soon after the birth of her child. She came back to Pakistan and filed for khula on the grounds that her former husband was a violent man and had even tried to strangle their child while in a drunken state.

“Before my daughter passed away, she transferred the child’s custody to me at the age of seven. He has been living with me for the past nine years and I can’t give him up, even at this old age.” Shahida agreed that although it was practical to let the child live with his father, the child himself did not want to live with him and the judge monitoring the meetings had ordered that either the child’s grandfather or his uncle be present at all times as the father had been rude to him a few times in the meetings. The suit for custody was filed after Noveen’s demise and the case had been pending for the past three years.

Another woman, Izzat-un-Nisa, was there with her two grandchildren, aged seven years and five years and her daughter. “My daughter got separated after the birth of her first child,” she told Daily Times, “but she reconciled with her husband. However, during her second pregnancy, her husband disappeared on her for two years, after which she had no option but to file for khula upon which, her husband claimed conjugal rights.” Izzat-un-Nisa recalled that khula was granted after two years and before or during that time, the husband had been missing from the picture and only came back last month, to file for custody once the elder child turned seven years old. When asked, the children did not recognise their father, who was unemployed and lived with his mother, divorced sister and her three children. The father had not provided any maintenance or child support but in his appeal, he was requesting custody of the children because he repented his loss and wanted to give them a better life, which he felt the boys could only have in the presence of a father.

Most grandparents who Daily Times talked to were maternal grandparents, regarding which, advocate Taeeba remarked: “This is a consequence of the steadily increasing divorce rate in the country. Most women who suffer from broken marriages are supported by their parents today.” She cited the increased literacy rate in women as well as greater awareness as the main reasons for parents standing up to support their daughters. Taeeba also said that women today were more aware of their rights under the Shariah laws and had become more career-oriented. “They have changed their lifestyles according to their own convenience. Where this evolution is a positive occurrence, it is also one of the major factors for the increase in divorces and long proceedings with maintenance trials, recovery of dowry and most frequently, custody cases.”